Thanks.
- Do I have to give a speech? - Yes, Nils. You actually do.
- You look nice. - Thanks.
Well, there's that bag! Let's get dressed.
Ingvar, are you okay?
IN ORDER OF DISAPPEARANCE
I'm no speech-giver.
I'm honored to be awarded Citizen of the Year.
But it feels odd to get an award for something you enjoy doing.
I'm just a guy who...
keeps a strip of civilization open through the wilderness for people.
When I was a boy, I liked books about Indians
and I guess I've become sort of a... pathfinder myself.
Even if I keep finding the same path over and over.
Well...
Well, thank you all.
Yeah, we sure had fun, didn't we?
You were hilarious last night.
We had a nice trip.
Great. You have fun now. And say hello from us.
- So, this is the new snow-blower? - Yep.
Well, it's a real big boy.
Damn!
You hear that?
It's the Farmer's Centrists Party calling you.
Clearly, you're a success, Nils. That's no secret.
You're as Norwegian as they come, without actually being Norwegian.
And we need guys just like you.
A successful, fully-integrated immigrant.
And "immigrant" is positive in this context.
Well, Gudrun and I are fine.
I'm best at minding my own business.
Yeah, yeah, yeah... no.
If everyone had that attitude, we wouldn't have a democracy.
- The award needs to be hung up. - Yeah.
Here's a good spot.
Can you hold this?
Is that him?
Yes. Uh, overdose...
It's that, and that... And that one is important.
Ingvar was no drug addict.
Sadly, all parents say that.
Ingvar was no drug addict.
What do you intend to do?
Young people destroying themselves.
Not much we can do about that.
You're not going to do anything.
We didn't know our own son.
He was a drug addict, and we didn't have a clue.
We didn't know anything.
- Ingvar is lying dead in there... - Ingvar was never an addict.
Are you listening?
Nils?
Finn?
Sorry.
It wasn't supposed to end this way.
I was just borrowing it.
I work for them.
I know when and where the cocaine arrives, then I make deliveries.
I was just borrowing it, you know.
And Ingvar... It's the truth, he knew nothing.
He did me a really big favor without knowing.
And they'll get me next.
Cause it's my fault. So, that's okay.
I only took one bag.
If one bag disappears they won't notice who took it, I thought.
But those people always find out, in the end.
- What people? - You don't want to know.
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
What people do you mean?
Have you got any money? I must get to Sweden.
What people do you mean?
Jappe is the only one I had any contact with.
I only know Jappe.
Tell me where I find Jappe. And then get the hell out of here!
Jappe?
Finn asked me to say hello.
- I don't think I know any Finn. - Yes, you do.
And you know my son, Ingvar. He works at the airport.
I know a lot of people.
Go back to your hick village...
and stay there. Nice and safe.
Oh, fuck!
I want to know what happened to him.
I just followed orders.
From who?
Ronaldo.
Ronaldo said they had taken something from us.
And then I got orders to fix that shit.
Make it look like an overdose.
Ronaldo. Is that him?
Yes.
Rune, is everything okay?
Are you okay?
- It's just Jonathan. - What about him?
What's going on here?
- It's just Jonathan. - What about him?
He's bullying me.
Okay, what will you do about it?
Rune...
It's not a problem.
Jonathan bullies you cause he thinks you're weak.
You just have to show him he's wrong.
- You mean, I should hit him? - Yes, for example.
Hey...
But that's not allowed.
You don't always have to listen to everything you are told, you know?
- He's big. - Then you have to hit him real hard.
But, then I'll be as dumb as him.
Jappe's disappeared.
Who is Jappe?
Jappe is one of my employees.
Listen, you guys? This here feels kind of wrong.
I thought we had agreed to not discuss work on the way to school.
Did we not agree on that?
Yes.
Did you remember the fruit?
He's supposed to have 5 types of organic fruit and vegetables daily.
Did we not talk about this?
- Yes. - Yes, we did.
Rune? That means no fruit today, and I apologize for that. I'm sorry.
I hope you can see that I'm just as innocent as you in this matter.
Bye, Dad.
Hey... Remember what I said? Just...
LAPD! It was totally awesome.
Just like on TV. Shoot-outs and the Wild West.
They tried to shoot him twice.
They grazed his foot that one time. He was all right, but...
It's just insane. I got this cup from him.
To serve and protect.
I think you should get out. You'll probably survive.
Next time, you're getting out.
- Who's that? - Nils Dickman. Citizen of the Year.
Come off it, Dickman? Not so lucky with his name, poor guy.
Aren't you going to ask where I've been?
Who asked you and Jappe to kill Finn and Ingvar?
Strike said it had to be done.
And that they shouldn't disappear.
If Norwegian kids just disappear
there's always some obnoxious parents out looking for them.
Where do I find Strike?
- The airport. - He works at the airport?
He flies in with coke and out with money.
Is that him?
Good.
You're so fucking dead.
- That's the fourth gym bag you lost. - Why do you think that is, Marit?
Because I have a job, right.
Because I'm trying to earn money so we can afford gym gear.
So you take this, and buy all the gym gear
the boy will need for every gym class for the rest of his life.
Thanks for stopping by.
I spoke to my lawyer.
We suggest that he stays with me ten days and four days with you.
One week with me, one week with you. That's the deal.
It's confusing for him. He needs a base where he feels secure.
Fine! He can live here all the time.
That won't work.
We both know what kind of a father you are.
You give him Froot Loops for breakfast.
The fuck I do! Froot Loops?
I'm a vegan for fuck's sake! He hasn't eaten additives in this house
since you stuffed him full of cheap baby food.
- Bad time? - Not at all.
I'm just discussing Froot Loops
and gym gear with my son's mom. A nice chat.
You'll hear from my lawyer.
It's interesting that you bring that up, Marit.
I actually wanted to discuss that with you.
Which of us do you imagine can afford the most expensive lawyer?
- What the hell is it now? - Ronaldo's disappeared.
Relax. He won't come here. Don't worry about him.
Who are you?
Nils.
There isn't room for both, there's a turning place back there.
I'll try that.
You're not wearing a seatbelt.
Do you have any idea who you're fucking with?
Tell me.
Who is it?
You are so finished.
Who is it?
You tired now, old man?
Yes.
My cocaine is one thing, 15 kilos of pure cocaine is what it is.
But, my people are another matter. One or two guys can disappear.
But three guys don't fucking disappear
unless someone makes them disappear.
There's someone out to get my people and my territories.
And it isn't very hard to figure out. It's the fucking Albanians.
They're Serbs.
We split up the city, didn't we? We divided the region, town by town.
They even got those fat oil pigs on the west coast.
I let them use the airport. They got to land their shit there.
- I called it peaceful coexistence. - Yes, you did.
- I've been real fucking nice. - Way too nice.
This is how they thank me.
They land their shit at the airport several times per week.
Head up there. Grab one of them. Get me one of them.
- You know what he looks like? - He'll stand out, I'm sure.
This country is madness! It snows all the time.
- It's the welfare state. - Welfare?
There's no warm country with welfare. Name one sunny country with welfare.
If the weather is great, you don't need welfare.
You pick a banana, and all is well.
- What's going on? - It's the snow.
In Bali, Thailand, Vietnam, people have to manage on their own.
Spain is in the pits. Portugal is too.
Greece is in the pits. So is Italy. These are all warm countries.
Hospitals don't have staff.
You starve unless your family brings food.
South America sucks. Africa sucks.
California is on the brink of bankruptcy.
Sunshine or welfare.
I have something in my eye.
- In your eye or on it? - On my eye.
Yes.
- You should see a doctor. - No, it's nothing serious.
I can see him. It's my night vision that's bad.
- Want me to drive? - No.
I can drive.
Not getting much out of him.
He hasn't said a word. Been at it all night.
Yes. No, well then...
Maybe we're done talking.
Perhaps this will teach them to behave.
- It's been a long time. - Yes.
What do you want?
Someone killed Ingvar.
- Killed? - Someone had someone kill him.
Why are you telling me this?
Because you're his uncle. I never asked you for anything.
Here, sit on this.
- Turn it off. - In two minutes.
- Give me the remote. - What are you doing? Don't be silly.
You know you think this is sexy.
Stop it! Hey, that hurts!
Go and make us some coffee.
Rumor has it,
Ingvar and some kid named Finn stole a bag from the Count.
The Count? Do you know him?
I used to work for his father, Bullit.
Then his son, the Count, took over.
He got real big. He and the Serbs are sharing the market.
- I'm going to kill him. - You?
You could never kill anyone.
I already killed three people, Jappe, Ronaldo and Strike.
I rolled them up in chicken wire and threw them over the waterfall.
Chicken wire?
Yes, so the small fish can get in and gnaw the meat off the bones,
so they don't swell up and float.
But the Count isn't any fucking Ronaldo or Jappe.
He's one dangerous bastard. You'll never get to him.
Thanks.
What's he doing here?
You're not supposed to be with criminals like him.
- He's my brother! My little brother. - Little brother, my ass!
She's a bit worried that you're one of the guys from the old days.
I promised her that I would stay straight.
At the least, I have to try.
- Forget it, Nils. - A father must avenge his son!
- When did you become Dirty Harry? - Screw it all. Just drop it.
Nils!
Hold on! Don't be so damn childish.
You're just as irritating as Mom.
If you badmouth Mom, I'll knock in your teeth.
Okay.
The Count's name is Ole Forsby.
But if you want to kill him, you have to hire a hitman.
A hitman?
Where do you find those?
There's one called the Chinaman. I think he's still in business.
What is it with these names?
The Chinaman, the Count, Dirty Harry, Bullit, Jappe.
It's an old gangster thing.
So, what were you called?
Wingman.
- Wingman? - Yeah, you know, from Top Gun.
The movie. You can be my wingman.
Where do I find the Chinaman?
Did you get the money? Forget her, she's clueless.
- Did you get the money? - Yes, ninety thousand.
Okay. You book a hotel room for him
and give him half the money up front.
He's terrified of flying, takes the train. Pick him up at the station.
But not in your own damn car.
Take a taxi, give him the address, go home and wait, check online.
When you're sure he's dead, send a courier with the rest of the money.
Any questions?
Why is he called the Chinaman?
Must be cold here for a Chinaman.
I'm Danish.
Japanese.
The money.
I need it all up front.
No, it's half now, and the rest when I...
I don't know your name. I don't know your house.
I don't know if you're a man who sends the rest when it's done.
As a biologist, I'm quite optimistic.
We have gotten more humane towards humans and animals.
What 100 years ago was considered normal behavior
is now looked upon as barbaric.
The reality is, our species is less violent.
- We already got our sushi. - Not about sushi.
Please, come in.
Look here. Another unannounced visitor.
Exotic today, how nice.
- Yes? - Yes, I want to sell.
Then let's see if I'm buying. Rune?
We're just having a little meeting. Would you go grab a carrot?
Okay.
Someone is paying me ninety thousand to make you... cool.
Cold. It's called making me cold.
- Cold? Okay. - Is it the Albanian Papa?
- We're having a bit of a quarrel. - Papa is a Serb.
- No, it's not Papa. - Who is it then?
That's what I'm selling.
You want to sell me the name of someone who wants me cold. Got it.
- Exactly. - How much?
- The same amount, ninety. - That's fine. You're a businessman.
I know. You Chinese are the Jews of Asia.
- So, you buy? - I buy.
Deposit the money here.
When I see money in the accounts on Cayman...
I'll tell you the name of the enemy.
It's called the account. Not accounts.
Singular.
Fine.
- Dickman. - Dickman, Dickman.
No shit, my dad had a Dickman on the payroll.
What was he called? Wing, Wing... lord. Wingking... Geir?
- Wingman. - Wingman! It's fucking Wingman!
Good old Wingman wants to get me.
Now, I go.
Listen, I just have one quick question to ask you about morals.
You're in Norway now. This isn't some Banana Republic.
- Bananas... - Here in Norway, we honor our deals.
- You give money, I give the enemy. - Yes, you've honored that deal.
But you made a deal with a paying Norwegian citizen
to ice me. That deal you chose not to honor.
Disgusting.
Would you please leave the carpet?
THE CHINAMAN
Real good Maki roll.
- Does it smell like burnt sushi? - No, more like flied lice, right?
Right, deep-fly, you know?
Spling loll?
Kung fu tomaki.
Fucking hell, what if we're caught?
No one will catch us as long as we're careful.
Hey, it will be fine.
Yes, I lit all of them.
- How did it go? - It went well.
I pretty much did what you said, so...
Pretty much?
I gave him all the money up front. He can't trust me, a stranger.
- The ski conditions here are great. - For fuck's sake!
I just thought that skiing would do you some good.
Do you know what Dickman means in Norwegian?
Cockman!
So it does.
NEWLY DIVORCED "BAKERY MAGNATE" ENJOYING THE FREEDOM!
Hello, Wingman!
Do you have time for a quick talk?
It's actually more like a friendly request.
Hey there, it's been a long time.
Remember me? Ole, you know.
We have room for others here too.
Comfortable?
You've grown old, and we must take care of you.
Shit. I need some help.
Someone out there is after me. A hitman named Dickman.
I only know one Dickman, and that's you.
Naturally, it could be a coincidence.
It may be someone else altogether. But I don't believe in coincidence.
So I thought I would just come up here...
and I must ask you to help me find out...
if there is someone in your family...
who doesn't like me so well.
An uncle or a father...
or brother or a cheeky nephew or...
Dickman...
I never forgave your father.
What?
He took my woman from me.
Listen, that swinging dick had thousands of women, you know?
One of them was mine.
And what does that have to do with me?
His blood runs through your veins.
His grin is on your face.
You know what? I've come a long way, hoping for a good story at least.
I took all three of them down, Ronaldo, Jappe, Strike.
Just to get warmed up.
And now you're telling me this, just like that?
So the Chinaman didn't get you?
Shame.
You can do what you want to me.
I have cancer in my ass.
You mean shit to me.
- Where is my cocaine? - I flushed it down the toilet.
- Fifteen kilos. - At least.
Fifteen kilos!
I can give you a painful death.
Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
Oh, fuck, man. Oh, shit, so touching. That's so fucking deep!
That's fine, then.
That's totally fine.
That's the way it will be.
Wingman.
That's not how things are here.
It is now.
They called us to say where we could find him.
What did they attach him to?
1389!
- This is a serious provocation! - What are you talking about?
The Norwegians don't know of the Battle of Kosovo in 1389.
It's the elevation above sea level.
It was his first trip.
Give me a chance.
I'm a grown man.
I am your son.
You'll be proud of me.
And now he is hanging there, in a foreign land.
Like a mongrel.
We shall bury him in the fatherland.
Yes, we shall.
- We shall have revenge. - Yes, we shall, Papa. We shall.
Hi.
Fuck. What the fuck?
- You forgot about it. - Huh?
You forgot about it.
- One fucking parent meeting! - One?
I was at a meeting last month.
I went to a parent-teacher meeting and that fucking bullying seminar.
So, back off! I have a damn difficult and challenging job.
Relax, you're not an important businessman, Ole. You're a criminal.
You know what?
You think you know me so well.
But you don't fool me with your fucking hipster mittens.
I remember when you traveled the world
buying whatever you fucking wanted.
Nothing wrong with me or my money back then.
So take that fucking meeting
and shove it so far up your dry Danish ass
that you never find it again.
I don't give a rat's ass about parent meetings or you.
It's not always easy being me, Geir.
Yes, what was it?
Well, if it was Dickman who killed our people
then the Serbs must be pissed about the guy we hung on the sign.
Do you want some tea, Papa? You must be tired.
Condolences. I will protect him with my life.
We had a good deal.
We divided up the cities.
We agreed that shitty, little airport would be used jointly.
And we have kept our part of the agreement.
And how did they keep the deal? Well, they killed my only son.
My only son... is now on his way to Mother Serbia to be buried.
We will stay here, and it's time for revenge!
Blood for blood.
A son for a son!
Look at that! She's fucking picking up shit.
What is she doing with it?
It's a Norwegian thing. They all do it.
Your tooth still aching? Why don't you go to a dentist?
When do I have time for that?
- Ever been in a Norwegian prison? - No, not yet.
You're in for a treat!
Good food. Served warm.
- Good food? - You're not going to believe it.
- You get pension points for working. - You're just fucking with me.
I swear! And everyone's nice and polite.
No guards bothering you, no rapes. Even the inmates are nice!
No raping, nice guards, come off it!
Modern society, civilization!
Look, I got all my teeth fixed.
In prison?
She's picking the kid up this week.
A week with the father, a week with the mother.
Imagine sharing your son.
What kind of people are they?
That thing with the Albanian wasn't so smart.
Serb.
- He was a Serb. - Not anymore.
So we have a fucking problem, and we need a solution.
Any of you got any good suggestions?
Well, I don't know.
It probably wasn't a good idea to attach that note to him.
They probably want an apology.
Yes, perhaps I should buy a bouquet and send them a card.
They want something big.
Something in return. Something of ours.
Is there more coffee?
Thank you very much.
What?
Yes. Now they will get something in return.
So they understand that we're very, very sorry. Thank you very much.
Cut off his head. Box it up.
Deliver it to them, and say this is the culprit.
Say that all we want is peace, and give them our condolences.
Then maybe we'll get some peace around here.
- Is everything ready? - We have everything.
Tape, rope, bag, everything? Good.
It's me. We're here, shall we nab the kid?
Why is that?
All right. Deal.
They say we should wait.
- What should we wait for? - They sent a messenger.
What the fuck...
Papa says we should wait.
Look, it's the Pink Panther. Come.
Thanks for seeing me.
He's been punished for his deed.
We only want peace with you, okay?
Okay. Thank you.
Draw the curtains, will you?
It pains me to say this.
Thank you for gift.
But I need a son for my son.
- Careful... - If you do it again, I'll shoot you.
Now?
You don't want cavities, do you?
But this is Mom's week.
I know. She asked me to pick you up.
Come on.
You don't work for my father.
- Who were those men? - No idea.
- They got away in a panel van? - Yes, there was writing on it.
- What did it say? - Name and telephone number.
It was that village near the airport.
It'll be no problem to find the kid or the van.
Or that guy.
Remove him before he starts stinking.
Hello?
Well, he can't talk actually right now.
Because he's, uh, he's dead.
Yeah, just like you will be. Well, in...
He hung up, that rat!
That fucking Count
will shit his pants when I tell him I have his son.
I'm not going to put up with this.
They can't just take my son and not call.
It's not done like that.
No one shoots a messenger.
What's with those fucking Albanian monkeys!
Fucking Muhammadan swine-cunts.
We know how they carry on, fucking dogs and pigs day and night.
Fuck that filthy gang of inbred maids and day laborers.
Fucking East-European monkeys.
Now they fucking took my boy.
My little boy.
They fucking took my little boy.
I want you all to know that I'm not going to put up with this.
Have you gone mad?
This is my week! You have no right to pick up Rune without asking me.
Are you so dumb that you kidnap your own son?
Now I get custody, like that!
You'll get to see him two hours per month,
supervised, if you're lucky.
My lawyer says you've ruined all your chances.
I take Rune now, and you won't get to see him...
Yes!
- Do you live here? - Yes.
All alone?
Yes.
- Don't you have any kids? - No.
It wasn't real smart of you, taking me to your home.
I'm just going to talk with your dad.
Now?
Tomorrow.
- Welcome! - Hi. Good evening.
- Six single rooms, please. - Do you have a reservation?
No.
- No way! Are you nuts? - She's fucking with us.
Papa, they only have two big rooms.
One is mine.
I'll pay cash as usual.
Where will you sleep then?
- I sleep in the room in here. - But what if I run away?
You won't. You'll freeze to death. And you won't find the way.
I usually get to hear a story before I go to sleep.
I have no stories.
You can just read something. It doesn't matter what it is.
It has two independent MTU diesels...
with total power of more than 2,000 horsepower!
- I have one like that. - You?
Why? Aren't you a kidnapper?
Not always.
This one has a capacity of 4,000 tons of snow per hour.
Throwing distance of 30 to 35 meters. Weight of 5.8 tons.
- It's a nice one. - Can I get a ride in it?
You're going to sleep now.
Have you heard of the Stockholm syndrome?
First the foreigner hanging on the sign,
then we found the Swede at the dam.
It sure as hell smells...
It smells like a gangster war. For sure.
- Would you please call the police? - If we do, they'll kill Rune.
Marit, you must listen to me now.
Is it you or me that understands this situation best?
They're going to call, and tell us what they want.
Then, I'll give them what they want and we'll get Rune back.
That's the way it works.
In 24 hours, I'm calling the police.
In 24 hours, he'll be back.
- I hope you burn in hell. - Fine, see you there, Marit.
We haven't found him, yet.
But this is a small town. Sooner or later, we'll spot his car.
Right?
We'll go... and keep searching.
It's the janitor from Rune's school.
Nice! Hey, there!
Just tell him what you told me, and you'll get the money.
I just mentioned that car, and the guys who took the boy.
There was a name and an address on the car.
But my memory isn't what it used to be, and...
I seem to recall something.
There was a phone number too, but I don't remember it.
It struck me as sort of a strange name. Dickman.
He hasn't spoken with the police.
- How much are we talking? - Thirty thousand.
There's 30, yeah. And that's 29.
Dickman has a fucking relative.
Yes?
I have your son. If you want to see him alive, come alone.
I know how it works.
I guess you want money too? It's normal to ask for money.
We'll talk about it when you arrive.
I'll jump in my car now, but it will take me until this evening.
Hey, there! You have some fancy visitors waiting at your place.
- Fancy visitors? - They asked me for directions.
They had on suits and ties. They looked like right-wingers.
We were sort of hoping you might join the Farmer's Centrists Party.
But, of course, it's your decision.
But it's good to see you're back on your feet.
Must have been a hard blow with Ingvar.
Remember Finn, Heimdahl's son? He started using narcotics too.
They found him yesterday.
- Is this one yours? - No. That's some old machinery.
None of them are mine. Come here.
Now, you stay here until someone comes to get you.
Look here.
Nice, now we know his wife is a cow.
I was looking at the snow-blower. And his company.
- Where the hell is Geir? - I think he's in the front car.
- Radovan, are you going to try that? - Sure, why not.
Hello?
I'm listening.
...number 14.
Radovan! What do you think you are? An eagle?
A Serbian eagle!
Papa, we have the man.
We have the address, everything! Did you hear, Papa!
- Why do you have a rifle? - Stop asking questions!
Just do what I say! Stay here!
Why are you so angry?
You have to do as I say, okay? Now, stay here!
Where is my son?
Know what? If I have to ask about something three times, I get grumpy.
And then I'll start finding other ways to get you to talk.
And you may think my profession isn't real creative, but it is.
And with a guy like you,
we'll use good old traditional methods.
I'll pull out your fingernails, cut off your fingers,
chop off your hands, remove your ears and cut off your nose.
And that part with the nose...
you're not going to like it.
- Okay, I'll go look for Rune. - Good.
Talk to you later, then.
Will you give a message...
to Marit.
Tell her that...
she's a cunt.
THE COUNT
IN ORDER OF DISAPPEARANCE